Looking at that ultrasound with Nancy and the vet and coming to the slow realization that I can't fix him absolutely broke my heart. I would have given anything to be able to fix this horse... I would have taken any amount of time and given him any level of care if someone told me it would make him OK, but instead I'm left helpless with the knowledge that I need to find him a more suitable home... a home where someone can pet him and adore him and take him out on the trails... maybe do some flat work, too. I guess the only thing that's good to know is that he isn't in pain... this thing up front is just happening because he's lost so much elasticity in the ligaments.
I've had to sell horses before... Dusty needed a less challenging home when she went blind in one eye and Kess decided he didn't want to be a preliminary horse... Both of those were hard for me, but I at least felt like I'd gotten the chance to TRY with them... I spent 4 years with Dusty and we got a chance to to all sorts of marvelous things together.. we both finished our first Training level together... hell, we finished our first recognised NOVICE together. That mare taught me all sorts of things about riding softly and efficiently. She gave me confidence. Most of all, she gave me brilliant memories and I couldn't ask any more of her... she gave me all she had and it was time for her to do that for someone else. It also didn't hurt that Jen bought her, so I was going to be able to keep seeing her.
couple photos from our time together:
Kess was a totally different story. We had a great, short run. I got him as a Novice packer who wanted to do more, and more we did. Our biggest highlight was finishing 2nd in the TR division at Stuart, and I was SO excited about him. However, with him going lame at Fitch's Corner, and me going lame as soon as he was rideable again... we had some issues. I loved him dearly, and had a blast with him, but I guess I never quite felt the same sort of connection with him that I did with Dusty.. probably because I wasn't the one who trained him. He is now happily trucking around Novice with a little girl and I'll get to see him run when I go up to Millbrook next weekend! Anyway.. here are some fun photos from our time together:
I was able to handle selling those two because I felt that we'd at least gotten a chance to perform together and have some fun. Maybe that's why I'm finding this so hard with Tango... I feel as if the two of us haven't ever gotten a chance to do anything. I absolutely LOVE this horse... Dusty was sort of green when I got her, but Tango was VERY green... everything we've accomplished has been because of our teamwork. And let's not even mention that he is the sweetest, most talented horse I've ever met... I had such high hopes for him, and it really feels like my heart is breaking when I think that I'll never get to experience his BEAUTIFUL jump again, and that he'll never get to enjoy it again... because he LOVES to jump. This isn't as hard as saying goodbye forever... not by any means... Sierra gets the medal for the hardest goodbye... but it's just the fact that he's SO talented and SO lovely and he'll never get the chance to really prove it. I can't even type anything more because it's just making me upset. The blog isn't finished... I'll keep updating on Tango until he finds a new home, and then I'll start up anew once I find a new project... but I'm done for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment