SUSPENSORY BLUES

Sometimes... most times... I find myself asking WHY? Why do I love horses so much? Why are they SO self-destructive?
Tango is officially broken. He was broken before, but manageably so. NOW? Seriously broken. I pulled him out of the paddock almost two weeks ago now, and he was short and stabby on the LF just walking. No swelling, no heat. I jogged him out and - big surprise - DEAD LAME. I immediately assumed that he just strained the old injury, since we'd had a LOT of rain, and he tends to run about like an asshole occasionally. He's done this type of thing before, so I just cold-hosed, buted, poulticed and locked him up for the night, figuring he would be fine in a day or two. Well, the next day there was obvious swelling and major heat up high on the LF. NOT GOOD. More cold hosing, more bute and more poultice. The swelling went down a bit by Tuesday, but it was hotter than ever, so I called the vet. Now, I don't exactly have money to be throwing around on diagnostics, and the vet is well aware of this. I told her what was going on, and what I thought had happened (I was starting to think it was more than just stressing the scar tissue), and she agreed with me. Now I'm stuck with an INCREDIBLY useless horse who (probably) sprained or mildly tore the suspensory or check ligament, and I'm going to be in quite a bind once school starts next week. I really wish that there was a way for me to find him a forever home with people willing to rehab him and love him, but I know I'll probably end up resorting to plan B, which is to rehab him enough to get him pasture sound and then send him to PA for 6 months to live in a big field and eat all the grass that he could ever imagine. I just want something that I can ride.